What to Do If Your Ex is Not Following a Custody Agreement

When a former partner disregards a court-ordered custody agreement, it can create stress, frustration, and confusion. Not only does it disrupt routines, but it also risks harming the child’s well-being. 

At Jackman Law Firm, we understand the challenges families face in such situations. Since 2014, we’ve been committed to helping parents protect their rights and ensure the best interests of their children. Here’s what you need to know and how you can take action if your custody agreement isn’t being followed.

Common Custody Order Violations

Custody agreements are designed to provide structure and stability for children. However, some parents choose to disregard the terms. Below are some common violations and how they might affect you:

Late or Missed Exchanges

If your ex consistently arrives late for custody exchanges or misses them altogether, it can throw off schedules and create tension. Punctuality is vital to maintaining trust and a sense of normalcy for the child.

Keeping the Child Beyond the Agreed-Upon Time

When a parent holds onto the child longer than agreed, it not only violates the order but can also disrupt the other parent’s time and plans. Such behavior may require attention or intervention, especially if it becomes habitual.

Disparaging the Other Parent to the Child

Speaking negatively about the other parent in front of the child can cause emotional harm and strain the parent-child relationship. Courts take this behavior seriously as it can affect the child’s mental health.

Making Unilateral Decisions About the Child’s Needs

Some parents make important decisions—such as enrolling the child in sports or changing schools—without consulting the other parent. This undermines the shared responsibility outlined in most agreements.

Relocation Without Consent

Moving without the required consent or approval disrupts the existing custody arrangement. In Washington, such actions often require court approval.

Denying Visitation

Unless there’s an immediate safety risk, withholding visitation is a serious violation. Courts prioritize maintaining consistent relationships between children and both parents.

Interfering With Communication

Blocking phone calls, emails, or other forms of communication between the child and the other parent creates unnecessary barriers and can harm the parent-child bond.

Document Everything

Keeping detailed records is essential when custody violations occur. Courts value evidence, and having clear documentation can strengthen your case. Here’s what to track:

Dates and Times of Missed Visits or Late Pickups/Drop-offs

Keep a calendar or journal with exact dates and times when the custody agreement was not followed. This will establish a clear pattern of behavior.

Details of Concerning Conversations or Interactions

If your ex engages in inappropriate conversations or actions, write down what happened, who was present, and any relevant context.

Evidence of Attempts to Communicate and Resolve Issues

Save emails, texts, or written letters that show your efforts to address the violations amicably. This will demonstrate that you acted reasonably before seeking legal remedies.

Communication is Key (But Proceed with Caution)

Open communication can sometimes resolve custody disputes without having to pursue legal action. However, it’s important to approach these conversations carefully:

• Focus on the Child’s Well-Being: Keep discussions centered on what’s best for your child, not past grievances.
• Use Written Communication: Text or email allows you to maintain a record of the conversation. Avoid confrontational language and stick to the facts.
• Avoid Face-to-Face Arguments: If tensions run high, in-person discussions can escalate. Written communication helps maintain professionalism and clarity.

Consider Mediation

Mediation offers a collaborative way to resolve custody disputes. Here’s why it might work for your situation:

• Neutral Ground: A mediator acts as a neutral third party to guide discussions and find solutions.
• Modify Agreements: If life circumstances have changed, mediation can help adjust the custody agreement without going to court.
• Fewer Conflicts: By encouraging open dialogue, mediation reduces hostility and fosters cooperation.

Enforcement Through the Court

If violations persist despite your efforts, court enforcement may be necessary. Washington courts take custody violations seriously, particularly when they’re willful or repetitive. Here are the potential consequences for a non-compliant parent:

Fines

Judges may impose monetary penalties to discourage future violations and compensate for related expenses.

Make-Up Time With the Child

Known as “compensatory time,” this ensures the affected parent regains lost time with the child.

Modifications to the Custody Order

If the violations are severe, the court might modify the existing agreement to better serve the child’s needs.

Jail Time

In extreme cases, particularly when safety is at risk, the violating parent could face incarceration. While this is a last resort, it highlights the seriousness of adhering to custody orders.

Legal Considerations in Washington State

Washington follows the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA), which governs custody disputes and enforcement across state lines. Here are a couple of points that are important to know:

• Safety Concerns: A parent cannot deny custody or visitation unless there’s immediate danger to the child.
• Interstate Custody Issues: The UCCJEA ensures consistent handling of cases involving parents in different states, reducing confusion and potential conflicts.

Facing Custody Challenges? Jackman Law Firm Can Help

If your ex isn’t following the custody agreement, it’s crucial to take action. At Jackman Law Firm, we’re dedicated to helping families in Washington protect their rights and ensure their children’s best interests.

Call us today at (206) 588-5555 or Contact Us online to schedule a consultation. Let’s work together to find a solution that protects your rights and supports your family.